Freedom. Sort of.
After lots of complaining, I finally got my Covid shots. As I was expecting, because I have a really strong immune system, I was sick for a couple of days. But that is better than getting Covid. All around the land here, nobody is wearing masks. I could go on about the risk of that in a county with only 44% of people wanting the vaccine. But that makes me too ragey so I won't go on.
My life isn't my own anymore, which you won't understand until you are taking care of someone. Friends are great, but friends don't come at all hours to help. They have their own situations. My days pass in a blur, and I dream of the time when I can have an entire twenty four hours to myself. I'm doing everything halfway: work, helping, exercise.
I say all this not to whine but to state that I've always thought that we all reside somewhere on the selfish spectrum. Some lean way more to one side than the other. I've never thought of myself as being particularly selfish: I volunteer, I mentor people at work. But it's when you have to give up things you really like to do that makes you realize what kind of person you are.
So the people who have reached out are my true friends. The ones who have gone to buy my latest book, even though I've done nothing to promote it. You find out who has your back.
It hasn't all been terrible. I've gotten better at micro adventures, the kind where you sprint out the door after work and wake up at dawn to get back. I've been running more and going to the gym. It's not epic and certainly not what I'd prefer to do. But this is a speed bump perhaps causing me to reevaluate. Are there things and people I don't need in my life? Do I really want to write another book? Etc.
With vaccination comes a sense of freedom but I'm not going back to normal. Normal wasn't working
It's time to do something different.